She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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