So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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