walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
