Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
