I'm going to jail i love you
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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