so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
