i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
