A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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