I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
