he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
