JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
