Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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