I can text with my tongue
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
