She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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