my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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