She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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