Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
