Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
