i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
