I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
