okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Randomize
