He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
