So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
