My hand turned me down
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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