margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
