I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
The air taste purple.
Randomize
