Your face is a jimmy john
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
