Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
