so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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