Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
