member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize