Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
