I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
