But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
