it wasn't lemon gatorade
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
