I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
