I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize