True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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