I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize