if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
