don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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