My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
