Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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