Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
