i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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