it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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