I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
