im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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