so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
