Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
