So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i think im in europe. pls send help
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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