Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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