So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
