actually, I'm a sock model
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize