I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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