Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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