Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
