Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
