im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
