i permit you to call me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Is Oprah even human
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
