She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize