oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
