Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You were trust falling into bushes
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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