You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
