Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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