Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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