Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
