they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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