we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
