your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
