Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
