absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize