i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
