i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
