Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
