I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize