mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
